Wrapping up my critical thesis for hopefully the last time... and, as I did last month, I'm feeling free. I've been enjoying time to do creative writing again. I have many friends to thank for reviews left and right--some for creative work, some for critical work, some folks just for supporting me in general. Friends are wonderful to have :)
Tonight, Ben announced he had a pictorial milestone chart to make--due tomorrow. Grrrrr. Why are sons like this? Laura would have had this project done before dinner on the day it was assigned. Andy would wait until the morning it was due. Susie fusses because she doesn't get homework in preschool! But Ben... Ben. Hmmmphhh. So, of course we had to scramble through pictures to find "firsts" of Ben (that is, all of us except Andy--he was working on a project that's due tomorrow, too).
I found these two amazing pictures: one of Susie as a baby, and the last picture I took of my grandmother before her death. I can see Gram's smile on my little one's face. When I came across these two pictures tonight, tears came to my eyes. They make me feel so wonderful, and make me miss my Gram something fierce. Let's see if I can do this properly:
That's Gram on the left, in case you couldn't figure it out ; )
We had lots of laughs with Ben over old Halloween photos, goofy faces, and fabulous memories. It was great to see familiar, friendly faces that I haven't seen in a while. I've got some great shots of my cousins, with chicken pox, wearing Easter bonnets, and all decked out in Christmas finery. I'd try to work some bribes from these suckers, but my cousins will just bribe me back with the many (and probably much worse) shots they have of me. (Braces, glasses, big 80s hair.Yuck. I'd end up paying a lot more than they would. All of my cousins are pretty darned cute.)
I am thankful to have lots of pictures of loved ones who are gone. I have always loved to take pictures. Now that my mom, grandparents, uncles and cousins are gone, I'm glad I can look back on smiling (and sometimes silly) faces and reminisce on good times. I'm thankful to have pictures, if nothing else.
Despite the fact that I have thousands of photos (15 GB on my hard drive, not counting all the prints I have in boxes or albums), there are people in my life still missing, at least in the pictorial sense. Teachers who had big impacts at various points in my life (Ms. Louden, Dr. Myers, Dr. Selekman), old boyfriends, and coworkers all fall into the "Missing" category. I have a few of each, but nothing the real memories that I have: Louden with her clipboard in the auditorium, directing our plays; Dr. Myers with his bowtie, greeting us formally each morning, and Dr. Selekman pounding on some asthmatic kid's ribs, teaching me chest percussion in nursing school. These are pictures in my mind, memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. These people, and other people, are missing from my photo albums. They will never be missing from my life though, since they live in my heart and memory, and helped to shape who I am.
I wish I had taken more pictures.
Wonder if my coworkers will mind me bringing my camera to work this week... :)
-PLB
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